Collection: A Word of Appreciation for the Short Fanfiction

The trouble started in an innocuous manner, with Ford suddenly interrupting an important debate on the exact length of the barmaid’s legs with queries as to why it was called a “stag” night.

“Is it because the bride and her gang hunt you down tomorrow and tear your living flesh from your bones in Dionysiac ecstasy?” Ford asked happily.

“Er,” the groom said, clearly thinking of his blushing bride who, while it was generally agreed was a lovely girl, was not exactly possessed of the sort of physique that allows one to chase deer across mountainsides.

For anyone who has ever read the increasingly inaccurately named trilogy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, it should come as no surprise that its fandom is just as, if not more, insane. And these fanfictions do their inspirer proud will all manner of madness.

Where else could we get those free morsels of a feast we thought had ended eight years ago? Short fanfictions are a fresh whiff of magic, a reminder of fish, flying, polo, and references that make no sense to anyone who hasn’t read the series. They add, but just into canon, with little to no tweaking of established events, pleasing both the Watsonians and Doylists, those who take canon as it is and those who take it as an art to be expanded upon. It is not the first time the community has suffered a withdrawal like this. Seventeen years elapsed between the fifth and sixth books. In that regard, the sixth book could be considered a resurrection of the poor creature that made the feast. Which would make the fanfiction a sort of storified zombie? Ah, well. Fear not, it carries no dangerous epidemics, and is only as contagious as laughter usually is.

Oddly enough, when I construct these bizarre death-related metaphors, I’m not far from the truth; the last book was published eight years after the death of its author, taken from us by what some would call high treason of the Corporal Form, blessed be its arteries, but what most would call a heart attack. Because of this, the series had to be completed by another writer. So I’d say the fandom is continuing the tradition quite faithfully, in the way that all fandoms must and do quite happily. Memorializing, repeating, and continuing is our purpose.

Being fanfiction, there is a small amount of shipping, localized to the first fanfiction I’ve recommended. Being short, there is room for few themes, and angst does not happen to particularly be one of them. Being Hitchhiker’s Guide, these fanfictions are as bizarrely fluffy as a freshly washed dog, even though you’re sure its fur wasn’t that long before you took it to the groomers… can they extend fur there? They all happen to involve drinking… which is in line with canon, also, where a night undrunken is a night spent and a night drunken is a night unspent, most likely because you can’t really remember how you spent it.

But what of that poor creature, eaten so ravenously so many times? We certainly couldn’t put anything through that hiatus without its consent. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here it is.

Fluff: +++++

Angst: ++

Smut: ++

Overall Rating: +++++

Better Than Tea by afrai:

The Running of the Deer by Daegaer:

Childhood Dreams by Daegaer:

I don’t have much more to say about this collection, only that these are my favorites of the many hundreds I have read in my tenure, remarkably well-written, the kind that leave you laughing over bricks late in the night. We all need this kind of humor in our lives. I wish I had an internal narration like this.

The Heart of Gold cruised through the infinite stretches of space exactly like an enormous, dazzlingly beautiful, ridiculously improbable starship cruising through the infinite stretches of space. It will come as no surprise to anyone who has a better grasp of the Galaxy’s latest technological innovations than the famously bewildered brainless snail of Erqfuaad that the reason for this remarkable resemblance was because the Heart of Gold was, in fact, an enormous, dazzlingly beautiful, ridiculously improbable starship cruising through the infinite stretches of space.

It would make that lowly, leery, oddly loud thing called life much more exciting.


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